Non-Duality Explained: Remembering What’s Always Been Here
The Fear of Losing Myself
Non-duality explained — I used to think it meant erasing my personality, my problems, my story. At meditation retreats, someone would talk about pure being or awareness beyond identity, and I’d panic inside. If non-duality is the end of me, why do I even want it? The fear of vanishing, of not belonging anywhere, kept me tangled up in familiar forms. Maybe you recognize that push and pull: part of you curious, part of you gripping tightly to your own name.
If you find yourself drawn toward non-dual teachings, you might notice echoes in related philosophies. For example, the Advaita vedanta meaning tradition points toward the same paradoxical wisdom: we are not two, but one — and yet we live within stories of separation.
A Moment When Everything Quieted Down
There’s one morning that stays with me. I was sitting on my steps, feet bare against damp wood, cradling a mug of tea. For a breath or two, the world and ‘me’ felt blurry — the steam rising, the sound of a chickadee, my pulse in my wrists. Not merged, not vanished. Just the absence of separation, like the edges had softened. I realized I didn’t have to force non-duality; it glances in when I’m not looking for it.
Sometimes, the invitation is to simply notice the difference between awareness vs attention. In moments of deep rest or surprising connection, it’s as if awareness is quietly holding everything, while attention flickers gently from sensation to sensation.
Non-Duality Isn’t a Destination
So often, ‘non-duality explained’ turns into jargon. But when I listen to the quieter part of myself, non-duality is less about an achievement, more about a gentle loosening. Some teachers describe it as awareness beyond identity, but to me it feels more like permission to stop striving for special states. You don’t have to get rid of your thoughts, feelings, or your sense of self. You might just notice there’s a deeper stillness — something unchanging beneath all your shifting moods and stories.
If you’re curious, it can be helpful to reflect on classic questions such as what is consciousness — not for the ‘right’ answer, but for the way the question opens into mystery. In this opening, something quiet inside is already present, aware, and whole.
How to Experience Pure Being (If You Want To)
‘How to experience pure being’ is a question that can tie the mind in knots. Sometimes, the more I try, the further away it feels. But in compassionate moments — pausing to feel the warmth of water on my hands, or just letting silence be heavy — there’s a softening. If the language of non-duality is overwhelming or triggering, you’re not doing it wrong. You can put all the philosophies down and notice: am I aware right now? What’s it like to rest, even briefly, as the openness that senses all of this?
You may also find something freeing in the reminder that pure awareness definition is not about erasing anything, but noticing the wide-open background behind every feeling, thought, or sensation.
You Don’t Have to Lose Your Identity
Growing up with old wounds, I used to think awakening would mean deleting the parts of me that hurt. But if non-duality means anything lived, it’s the freedom to let those old identities arise without shame. Acknowledging your traumas, your needs, your longing to belong — none of this is an obstacle to awareness beyond identity. In fact, honoring your story can make the space around it feel even more compassionate. Non-duality isn’t about bypassing your pain; it’s about finding the part of you that can hold it all without contracting.
This gentle witness is sometimes described as the observer self concept — the background awareness that is not threatened by change, emotion, or even struggle. You don’t have to identify with it; just notice it’s already here, quietly present.
And if you ever doubt that you are more than your passing thoughts, feelings, or sensations, perhaps you’ll find a sense of reassurance in the idea that you are not your thoughts — something deeper, steady, and gentle is always holding you.
What Science Can (and Can’t) Say About Awareness
I’ve read the neuroscience studies about self and consciousness, but they mostly describe the map, not the territory. Some research suggests that meditation — especially practices that emphasize open awareness — can reduce activity in parts of the brain involved in rigid self-referencing. But I’ve never found my longing for connectedness explained by an MRI scan. In the end, what matters isn’t the theory, but whether you feel a little more at home in being itself.
Letting Yourself Land Here, Just as You Are
If non-duality feels like too much — or too abstract — let yourself be exactly where you are. You don’t have to touch some cosmic oneness to deserve rest or belonging. Pure being is here whenever you remember to feel your feet, to breathe, to ask quietly, “Who am I if I don’t try to fix this?” It’s okay to long for something deeper, and it’s okay to be enough already.
If you ever wish to explore from another facet, you might read about different levels of consciousness — not as a ladder to climb, but as a gentle permission to notice the many ways awareness colors your experience.